Learning how to worship.

Up until now, most of my posts have been updates on how things are going in Mexico...

Well, this one is a little bit more personal.

Today, I learned how to worship.

Now, you may think that sounds odd, I surely did. I've been a Christian for 15 years. I've grown up singing in church, and hearing the talks about how worship is more than just singing. I've read Romans 12:1 about offering our bodies as spiritual acts of worship. I was even a worship intern at my church for two years! I've heard it all. If I am completely honest with you, my favorite form of worship is singing, though I am not very good at it, haha. My home church has a congregation in the thousands, our worship team is incredible and I have the opportunity to worship corporately with them every week. One of my favorite sounds is when the church is singing so loud that you can hear everyone over the instruments. You can hear thousands of voices singing as one voice to our Almighty Creator. It is so beautiful. I think until now I have taken that for granted. 

Since I've been in Mexico, I have noticed that corporate worship is one of the things I miss most. We worship as a church here four times a week, but it is so hard for me because I don't understand the words. I don't know what I am singing, so usually I spend that time praying quietly to myself about whatever The Lord brings to my mind. I knew before leaving that I would struggle with this in particular, but I didn't think it would be this hard. 

This morning, Heidi came into my room and told me that her and Conrad were going to Bacerac (a nearby town) and that they'd be home soon. I quickly realized that this meant that I would be alone. Completely alone. Just me. No one else. You have to understand, this was a big deal to me. I have only been alone maybe one other time in the three and a half weeks that I have been here. The discipline of solitude is something that I learned about from my college pastor, Bobby Moore, and it is one that I try to practice often. Here, however, that is very difficult.

When Heidi had come into my room, I was reading my bible. After her and Conrad left I felt an urge to worship. But how? My hearts desire was to sing... and to sing in English. So I did something that I have never done before. I picked up my phone, opened my music, and turned on Hillsong. I started to sing.  It was just me. I wasn't surrounded by thousands of other people, there wasn't any live instruments, no worship leader. Just me and Jesus. At first it felt a little weird. Maybe unfamiliar is a better word, but let me tell you, it was one of the most intimate times I have ever had in worship. I felt The Lord wrap his arms around me, comfort me, be near to me. It was indescribable. I was brought to tears. I sat on my bed weeping in front of my King.

In that moment, I learned how to worship. Now, I am not saying that corporate worship isn't important, because it is, but I think that we all need to have moments of intimacy and solitude with Jesus. I think that he desires to be worshiped in that way. He desires moments with just you. Maybe you are already really good at setting aside time to be alone with Jesus, but if you are anything like me, things tend to get in the way. Whether it is a busy schedule, other pressing matters, kids, school, work, even ministry. Life happens. I know that, you know that, God knows that. But we must remember, Jesus desires intimacy and solitude with us.

I hope this leaves you encouraged to have that time with Jesus, because it is precious. I hope that in that time you meet Jesus in a whole new way. I hope you learn how to worship, whether it be for the very first time or for the hundredth.

Thank you for reading and sharing this journey with me. I am thankful for each and every one of you.