A different kind of brokenness.

Those of us who go to church have definitely heard the song Hosanna. The bridge of it says, "Break my heart for what breaks yours, everything I am for your kingdom's cause." I don't know if my heart has every truly been broken by the things that break the heart of God until yesterday. This isn't a story of sad brokenness or mourning, but one of the kind of brokenness we experience when we are so overjoyed and humbled that our only reaction is to become completely undone before our Father.

A little background. When I was here last April I connected with one family in particular. We connected on a level that I didn't know was possible after only knowing someone for a week and not even speaking the same language. Their names are Carlos and Yaneli, and they have a two year old son named Carlitos (little Carlos). They are in their mid-twenties and have been Christians for about a year.

Last Friday we had a church service in San Miguel, a town about 45 minutes from Huachinera. This is where Carlos and Yaneli live. After the service, Yaneli asked me if I wanted to come to her house. I was a little confused because it was out of nowhere and I didn't know why she wanted me to come over. We all ride in a large van to the services in other cities, so I was also wondering how I would get home. She said I could stay until Sunday and ride back after church. Now I was wondering why she wanted me to come for three days! In the U.S. we don't just invite someone to stay at our house for three days when they have a house of their own. I asked Heidi about it and she said it is custom here. When a missionary visits it is common for some people to invite them to stay with them. It might be because they want prayer or an encouraging word, or because they want to serve you by letting you stay under their roof. After finding this out, I told Yaneli that I would love to stay. We agreed that she would talk to her husband and we would figure out a time that works for us!

Last night we had church in Bavispe, a town about 35 minutes from Huachinera. Carlos and Yaneli were there. After the service I asked Yaneli when I should plan on staying for the weekend. It wasn't even a second after I asked the question that I saw tears begin to form in her eyes. I was so confused! I thought, "Why is she crying? Wasn't she the one who asked me to stay? Does she not want me to anymore?" I asked her what was wrong and she told me that they only have one bedroom at their house with one bed. After that, she was crying so much that I could't understand what she was saying. She asked if we could find Heidi to translate what she wanted to say. My heart was surely not prepared for what happened next.

In tears, she told Heidi what she wanted to say to me. She said that they only have one bedroom with one bed, but that they borrowed a bed from someone so that I could stay with them. She told Heidi that the house that they live in is not theirs, that someone is loaning it to them because they can't afford a house right now. She was crying because she was so embarrassed about all of it but at the end she said, "But we want you to come because we love you and our home is your home."

Emotions flooded my heart and soul. I was completely broken. I was broken by the fact that they would borrow a bed for me. That is so far out of their way. I was broken by the transparency in her words. I was broken by the fact that she would look beyond her embarrassment and invite me into her home, which she said was my home too. I told her that I don't care what the condition of her house is, that I am so incredibly honored to even be invited to stay with them.

I began crying as well. Why? Because I have never experienced anything like this. I don't know her or her family very well at all, but the amount of love in my heart for them is indescribable. I didn't know that it was possible to feel this way. I'm sitting here in tears just writing about it.

I imagine that this is how Jesus felt about Yaneli in that moment. I imagine him to be overjoyed that she would set aside her own worries and cares to invite a sister in Christ into her home. I bet he had the biggest smile on his face when he heard her say that her home is my home. I imagine him to feel completely undone at the sight of her love for him.

I don't know if this whole thing makes any sense at all... maybe it is something you can only understand if you have experienced it. I'm not sure. All I know is that I am beyond grateful for each day here and for all the God is revealing to me through his body of believers in Mexico.

A photo taken of me with Carlos, Yaneli and Carlitos a few weeks ago. I cannot wait to spend a weekend with this family!