Time.

James 4:14

"What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes."

I read this passage during my PBJ (prayer, bible, journal) time on October 1st. Although this isn't what I journaled on that day, I felt prompted to just write it down. 

Over the last few weeks my brain has been flooded with thoughts on this concept of time.

What is time? 

I have been living in Mexico for three months now. When I think about it, that sounds like quite a while, but at the same time, it feels like I just got here yesterday. Lately, I have been struck with the thought of how soon I am leaving. I still have quite a bit of time left here, but I know that it is going to fly by. The first three months went by so incredibly fast, so I know the next few will be the same, especially with the holidays approaching.

In the past two weeks God has continually brought this reality to my attention... you are a mist. When we are driving down the road, the thought pops into my head. When I am teaching my students, walking to the store, going to bed at night, playing with the kids I live with, reading my bible... you are a mist. 

Time is so precious. I would be lying if I said I haven't taken some of my time here for granted. We all do it. I think it's a part of our human nature. We can all think back to certain memories that we wish would last forever. There are special moments in our lives that we never want to end. There are also moments in our lives that we wish we could forget forever. Things we would do anything to take back. It is all a part of time. 

The bible talks about time in Ecclesiastes 3. Verse one says, "For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven." It goes on to say that there is a time to be born and a time to die, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to seek and a time to lose, a time to keep silence and a time to speak, etc, etc. 

There is a time for everything. The good and the bad. The happy and the sad. The fun and the boring. The exciting and the dull. The joy and the pain. EVERYTHING. Knowing this reality, you'd think we ought to make the most of all of our time here on this earth. 

In the grand scheme of things, our lives really are a mist. We are only on this earth for such a short time. I think that God has put all of this on my heart to show me that these next few months are precious. Every single moment of them. And I can't take them for granted. I need to thank God for every moment that I have left here, no matter what it brings. 

What times are you taking for granted? I encourage you to pray and ask God to reveal to you how you value this crazy concept of time. I also encourage you to savor every single second of life, because before we know it, it will all be over. 

My last thought...
How cool is it that for those of us who have our hope in Christ, time will never end. We are living for eternity. And someday that time will be perfect. Forever and always.

A different kind of brokenness.

Those of us who go to church have definitely heard the song Hosanna. The bridge of it says, "Break my heart for what breaks yours, everything I am for your kingdom's cause." I don't know if my heart has every truly been broken by the things that break the heart of God until yesterday. This isn't a story of sad brokenness or mourning, but one of the kind of brokenness we experience when we are so overjoyed and humbled that our only reaction is to become completely undone before our Father.

A little background. When I was here last April I connected with one family in particular. We connected on a level that I didn't know was possible after only knowing someone for a week and not even speaking the same language. Their names are Carlos and Yaneli, and they have a two year old son named Carlitos (little Carlos). They are in their mid-twenties and have been Christians for about a year.

Last Friday we had a church service in San Miguel, a town about 45 minutes from Huachinera. This is where Carlos and Yaneli live. After the service, Yaneli asked me if I wanted to come to her house. I was a little confused because it was out of nowhere and I didn't know why she wanted me to come over. We all ride in a large van to the services in other cities, so I was also wondering how I would get home. She said I could stay until Sunday and ride back after church. Now I was wondering why she wanted me to come for three days! In the U.S. we don't just invite someone to stay at our house for three days when they have a house of their own. I asked Heidi about it and she said it is custom here. When a missionary visits it is common for some people to invite them to stay with them. It might be because they want prayer or an encouraging word, or because they want to serve you by letting you stay under their roof. After finding this out, I told Yaneli that I would love to stay. We agreed that she would talk to her husband and we would figure out a time that works for us!

Last night we had church in Bavispe, a town about 35 minutes from Huachinera. Carlos and Yaneli were there. After the service I asked Yaneli when I should plan on staying for the weekend. It wasn't even a second after I asked the question that I saw tears begin to form in her eyes. I was so confused! I thought, "Why is she crying? Wasn't she the one who asked me to stay? Does she not want me to anymore?" I asked her what was wrong and she told me that they only have one bedroom at their house with one bed. After that, she was crying so much that I could't understand what she was saying. She asked if we could find Heidi to translate what she wanted to say. My heart was surely not prepared for what happened next.

In tears, she told Heidi what she wanted to say to me. She said that they only have one bedroom with one bed, but that they borrowed a bed from someone so that I could stay with them. She told Heidi that the house that they live in is not theirs, that someone is loaning it to them because they can't afford a house right now. She was crying because she was so embarrassed about all of it but at the end she said, "But we want you to come because we love you and our home is your home."

Emotions flooded my heart and soul. I was completely broken. I was broken by the fact that they would borrow a bed for me. That is so far out of their way. I was broken by the transparency in her words. I was broken by the fact that she would look beyond her embarrassment and invite me into her home, which she said was my home too. I told her that I don't care what the condition of her house is, that I am so incredibly honored to even be invited to stay with them.

I began crying as well. Why? Because I have never experienced anything like this. I don't know her or her family very well at all, but the amount of love in my heart for them is indescribable. I didn't know that it was possible to feel this way. I'm sitting here in tears just writing about it.

I imagine that this is how Jesus felt about Yaneli in that moment. I imagine him to be overjoyed that she would set aside her own worries and cares to invite a sister in Christ into her home. I bet he had the biggest smile on his face when he heard her say that her home is my home. I imagine him to feel completely undone at the sight of her love for him.

I don't know if this whole thing makes any sense at all... maybe it is something you can only understand if you have experienced it. I'm not sure. All I know is that I am beyond grateful for each day here and for all the God is revealing to me through his body of believers in Mexico.

A photo taken of me with Carlos, Yaneli and Carlitos a few weeks ago. I cannot wait to spend a weekend with this family!